Addressing The Critic on Your Shoulder

Here’s a Tip about addressing the nagging parrot in the the room

I want to introduce you to a very close friend of mine. This friend’s name is Frank–the critic, and Frank is an imaginary parrot who sits on my shoulder. He’s the personification of all of those thoughts I have whenever I’m getting on camera and suddenly lose confidence; he’s my self-critic. I wouldn’t say he’s the most positive friend because a good friend would be a whole lot nicer to me.

I imagine a parrot on my shoulder that is constantly judging what I am doing and how I am doing it at the moment. He is very negative and loves telling me how everything I want to do will inevitably fail. To keep clear of Frank and his OH SO HELPFUL comments, I had to stand up to my negative self by ignoring Frank.

“Oh, if I only looked a little bit better! It sounded clearer or had more lighting. Why did I say that? I bet they didn’t like that.” Guess what? Everybody has their own personal parrot. Those thought patterns are so deeply ingrained in the human psyche; sometimes they keep us safe, but while performing, they need to be banished.

I have been doing this for years, leading teams of people and a production company where our job is to capture people and make them look amazing… and I still hear Frank pop up from time to time. These human thoughts plague us all. It’s not just you; there are so many out there who share the same hesitation toward getting on camera and feel self-conscious and doubtful of their abilities.

Once you can identify your own personal Frank, you then can address the critic on your shoulder by saying, “Hey… you know, Frank, you can be here if you want, but I’m not listening to you right now! Right now, I’m concentrating on what I am doing well. At this moment, I’m concentrating on the message and the story that I’m telling.”

That parrot for you, whatever form it takes, they’re not going to go away easily. They’re still going to be there, but you might want to prepare for how you will talk to your self-critic when it appears. Invite them to do something else for a while. Remember, you’re in charge. You’re moving forward with your story right now, and that your objective is to talk with your client and help them the best you can. Frank can just hang out in the background. Maybe shove a couple of crackers in his mouth.

If your self-critic is the personification of a toddler that’s throwing a tantrum back seat, go ahead and strap them into the car seat in the back, give him a cup of juice, some goldfish crackers to calm them down. Remind yourself how normal it is to have judgemental thoughts pop up, but it’s your choice whether you invite them to stay or ask them to take a walk.

Just remember, you’ve got this! Concentrate on telling the story and serving your audience. The rest will work itself out. There are times for self-improvement and self-reflection later. Don’t indulge in those thoughts at the moment. Don’t listen to Frank. Because at the moment, your job, your only job, is to be your authentic self and connect with your audience on camera.

Your purpose is to give them great content to serve them at a deeper level. As long as you keep that at the front of your mind, instead of listening to Frank, there’s no way that you can go wrong.

For more Online coaching, video production, and training tips, check out our premium Storied Teams courses. Make sure to take advantage of our free mini-course. In 30 minutes or less, you’ll feel a lot better about how you look and present on camera!